


Here You Come Again

by AlexinBrum



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:40:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26804521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexinBrum/pseuds/AlexinBrum
Summary: Robert is released from prison. Aaron says he's fine. I think we all know he's kidding himself.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	Here You Come Again

And in that moment it was all over.

* * *

"It's fine," he said, when his mum popped round to check on him. "Honestly, it's no big deal. It doesn't change anything."

But it did change things. All those feelings, memories, questions - Robert being released meant they were too. Aaron found himself wondering what Robert looked like now, where he was living, what he was doing. If he'd found someone else.

He told Ste. Of course he did. And of course Ste was understanding and supportive, like he always was. But Aaron still felt guilty, without really knowing why.

* * *

"It's fine," he said, when Victoria sat him down, her big concerned eyes scanning his face for signs of distress. Aaron busied himself with the kettle, his hands on autopilot, head full of static.  
"It's just one weekend. You could go away. If you wanted. Treat Ste to a minibreak. No-one'd think anything of it."

Ste said the same. Because of course Aaron told him. And of course Ste was understanding and supportive. "We can get outta here, if you like."

But Aaron didn't want to. Robert grew up here, his family was here, their paths were bound to cross eventually. Might as well get it over with. The guilty feeling lingered.

* * *

"It's fine", he said, when Ste got the email. "I don't need babysitting."  
"I can try and change it," said Ste. "Sundeep owes me one."

But Aaron didn't want him to change his shifts, was relieved he wouldn't be around. He didn't need Ste hovering, being all understanding and supportive. If he happened to bump into Robert, it might be weird - would definitely be weird. But he'd deal better if he wasn't being scrutinised. It was just less complicated without Ste around. The guilty feeling grew.

* * *

"I'm fine," he said to Liv, irritated by her concern. "I've moved on. I probably won't even see him. Call someone else if you're bored - I'm trying to watch a film."

But he wasn't. He was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at an empty milk carton.

After Robert, it'd taken him a while to settle down. He'd had no trouble picking up blokes, but none of them held his attention for long. He was always comparing, and one after another they all fell short.

Then five years ago he met Ste. Ste was cute, fun and keen. Crucially, he persisted. He took on Aaron's baggage, even brought some of his own, and didn't flinch when Aaron had one of his intermittent wobbles. Weeks became months became years and Ste was still fun to have around. Aaron finally allowed himself to imagine the future, and when he did, Ste was there. It felt good.

But then he ran out of milk.

* * *

Aaron was vaguely aware of the cold milk carton chilling his fingers, the autumn drizzle soaking his skin, the passing car with the worn out break pads. And there, right there in the middle of all that, was Robert. Standing at Vic's front door, jacket pulled tight against the rain.

Their eyes met.

And in that moment it was all over.

Everything he had built with Ste crumbled to dust. It was over the day Robert was released, Aaron now realised. He wondered if it had ever been real at all, or if he'd always just been pretending, holding his breath. Waiting. He suddenly felt like he could breathe again, for the first time in ten years.

Vic's door opened and Robert disappeared inside.

* * *

Aaron walked home, put the milk in the fridge and sat back down at the kitchen table. He stared vacantly at the empty carton. The house was too quiet. He wished Ste was there.

His phone bleeped. A text from Vic. "U OK?" Robert must have told her.

Aaron felt like he was tumbling down a steep hill, faster and faster, and he wasn't even trying to stop it.

"Give him my number. If he wants to meet, or talk, or whatever."

He hit send. Waited for the whoosh.

He tried to focus on Ste. Understanding, supportive Ste. Tried to remind himself how good it was, how right. But it was too late - their life together was already just a memory.

There was only one thought in Aaron's mind, one all-consuming mantra pushing everything else aside. 

Robert.

Robert.

Robert.


End file.
